I've never been interested in tropical vacations. My fair skin fears sunburns, and my temperment abhors touristy spots where fruity drinks are the cultural focus. But I must say that, after an impromptu trip to the Bahamas as part of a travel magazine assignment last week, it was quite enjoyable. What was really weird about the trip, though, was being aboard the Disney Wonder. That's right: Not only was I passenger on a cruise ship, but one operated by Disney -- practically the Evil Empire, as far as I'm concerned (some great cartoons notwithstanding). I remember back when I lived in New York people remarked that Times Square had transformed during the early 90s from porno theaters to Disney theaters -- and nobody knew which was worse! On top of all this, being adamantly and proudly childless as well as sensitive to the screams and bellows of young children, I worried that this experience would be excruciating. But it wasn't. It was great. Go figure! The ship did a good job of securing enclaves aboard its massive tonnage (the Wonder is twice as heavy as the Titanic and 100 feet longer) for adults. Maybe it was a little bit like Las Vegas at sea without the gambling, but damn it, I enjoyed myself. It felt good after the cruise to be back in real environments again (even the Orlando airport), but I can't say that sunny weather, warm beaches, and all-you-can-eat restaurants weren't enjoyed by yours truly. Oh, and I was also an attendee at the "Ebert & Roeper Film Festival At Sea", featuring some nice films from Sundance. I can vouch for the fact that Roger Ebert has lost a lot of weight. I just hope the smorgasboard didn't set him back.